Sick

It seems like everyone with a blog uses a thesaurus to make themselves sound deep.

Always look on the bright side of life

My mental health is a concern, my brain feels like it is slowly shutting down and every time I am stressed I get a throbbing headache. The only way I can feel positive at the moment is looking into the future, near and distant:

- Rachel sleeping over tomorrow night
- Seeing people on Saturday
- My Mum's birthday on Sunday
- Job interview next Friday
- Ballarat and Melbourne Sike Your Mind
- Braces Off (October 13th)
- 'BRACES OFF PARTY TIME'
- Back to Berwick
- Graduation/Valedictory
- Evening of November 18th
- Matt's 18th
- The Used
- Schoolies
- Matt's house in Summer
- Christmas
- Shopping Tour with Rachel
- Soundwave 2010

I think this is all I can realistically look forward to at the moment. So whenever I am feeling down I think I will look at this list to make myself feel better. Though I do not believe in any god, if one does exist, I would like them to send Jamie T to my house for us to be wed, thank you.

Happy (Belated) Fathers Day

Dear Dad,

Whether you are trying to get me up in the morning, or whether we're dancing in the kitchen to TV show themes, I always cherish the time spent with you. It's safe to say that our family couldn't be better, and no matter if we argue or disagree, I know that both you and Mum will always be there for me. I am thankful for all that you've done for me, and for everything you have allowed me to do. I've always had amazing birthdays and Christmases, I've traveled the world and you are always happy to buy me things on your credit card or be my taxi service. You've sacrificed a lot for me to go to a great school, and you've paid for my bulldogs membership for the past 10 years. You always lend me money, or give me spare change if I'm running low and let me get in your car with my dirty work uniform on. Even though it's fun when you go away for a few days in the week, I still miss it when you're not around. If I ever needed you, I know you'd be there in a heartbeat. There's no one I'd rather have in my life, happy fathers day Dad.

I love you.

Sam Donchi

Words cannot explain how vital you are to me having a happy and satisfying life. Whenever I'm around you, I can't help but smile. Ever since I met you I've been a better person and when I don't see you it makes me unhappy. I know that I can trust you with my life and we have one of the most amazing friendships I've ever been apart of. You're a great person, and there's no one I'd rather go to prom with.

If you're ever feeling down, know that I will always, always be there for you. I love you Sam.

Not coping

Knowing the end is so close is amazing, but the amount of things I have to do before I can say, "What a year", is ridiculous. I don't want to do my first three minutes of Drama solo tomorrow, or the next two minutes the week after or even perform it on the 28th of October because I know it will be a piece of shit. I don't want to have trial exams next week, because I already know I will completely fuck all of them up. I don't want to record my product, because it will be a piece of shit. I don't want to study, because I would much rather lie in bed. I don't want to go to revision lectures because time would be better spent elsewhere. I don't want to relearn all of the years work for IS because knowing me I'll just forget it. It's gotten to the point where I don't want to wake up in the morning, and every moment spent out of a classroom is treasured. I cannot see any light in going to school and all I do is daydream about finishing. I could say I can't wait for the school 'holidays', but even then, the pressure to be constantly pressuring yourself is ridiculous. Welcome to the longest 2 and a half month period of my life, and bring on the celebrations that commence following my last exam on the 18th of November (aka MattyT's birthday).

In closing, fuck my life.